Jewel opens up about being homeless, having panic attacks before finding fame
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Jewel was once homeless and suffered from debilitating mental health issues before turning her life around and becoming a successful singer and songwriter.
The “Foolish Games” singer shared the trauma of growing up, including when her mother left their family when she was 8 years old, during an interview on the “No Magic Pill” podcast.
Her father had a “torturous fit” when they returned to their hometown, when Jewel’s “whole world” was literally turned upside down.
JEWEL SAYS ALASKA’S OFF-GRID GROWTH WITHOUT ELECTRICITY OR RUNNING WATER ENDED.
Jewel recalls her challenging upbringing in Alaska and her childhood homelessness. (Allen Berezovsky)
“I made a promise when I was really young that I wouldn’t use drugs or drink,” she said. “And, I think because I had an extreme front seat to see what we were doing. We didn’t look flashy, you know, we didn’t look attractive.
“And another deep, deep part of me knows that I’m very scared.”
EN VOGUE SINGER, DAWN ROBINSON, SAYS HE’S HOMELESS, CHOSE TO STAY IN HER CAR.
By age 15, Jewel was living on her own, and a few years later she moved to San Diego to care for her ailing mother. The payments fell through and the bills piled up when he decided to stay in his car while his mother returned to Alaska.
At first, Jewel tried to be positive about the situation, but her mental health began to deteriorate.
“My fear was getting worse. My agoraphobia was getting worse,” he said. “I had no food. I had no water. I had no access to … nothing. I had no gas for the car.”
Jewel followed in her family’s footsteps and started playing music at a young age. (Paul Natkin/WireImage)
Jewel remembered her lowest point when she started shoplifting.
“I started stealing food, like herbs and stuff to try … I had bad kidneys,” she said. “And then, it just came from stealing things that weren’t food and things that I didn’t need.”
JEWEL’S ADVICE ON OVERCOMING HEART PAIN, DIFFICULTY: ‘IT’S WHAT WE DO IN PIECES’
Broadcaster Blake Mycoskie made a point in the singer’s memoir, “Never Broken: Songs Are Only Half the Story,” where she described looking in the mirror as she saw a stripped-down version of herself and realizing that stealing was about fear of not being enough.
“I think, you know, stealing became a real addiction for me,” he said. “It was forced. I couldn’t help myself.”
Jewel said she “couldn’t control” her shoplifting addiction while she was homeless and living in her car. (Duane Prokop/Getty Images)
While standing in the locker room and trying to tuck the stolen garment into his pants, Jewel was struck by a difficult epiphany.
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“I saw my image in the mirror and … I was a figure,” he said. “I’m a homeless kid who steals from a store, I’m going to end up in prison or die if this continues.”
This singer relies on the words he remembers: “Happiness doesn’t depend on who you are or what you have. It depends on what you think.”
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From there, Jewel felt empowered to change her mind and change her ways in order to fully recover from her past. One unusual step he took: writing down everything he did with his hands over a two-week period.
Jewel and ex-husband Ty Murray were together for almost ten years before they married in 2008 and announced their divorce in 2014. (Getty Images)
“For the past two weeks, I have never been afraid,” he realized. “What I was tripping over was being too present. Writing my hands all day long … I watched my hands open the door. I watched my hands shake hands, whatever it was.
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“I watched my hand steal. I was so present that … I forgot to worry about the future that would never happen. It was so freeing.”
He added, “I realized that fear is a thief, and it only robs you of the opportunity to change your life.”
