Older singles are having fun, a new eharmony report found

I won’t sugarcoat it: Dating, at any age, can be a nightmare, especially if you’re looking for love in all the wrong places (or, sometimes, even if you’re looking in all the right places!). But brand new data from eharmony has given me hope for dating in my old age.

Today, eharmony released its “Redefining Love After 40” report (which makes sense, since that’s the site’s main demo according to research firm SSRS), and the numbers are promising, to say the least. Pop culture likes to make dating after 40 look bleak and hopeless (eg 40 Year Old Girlfriend, The Golden Bachelor, Hitchand more) but as it turns out, hitting your 40s, 50s, or 60s may be the best thing that can happen to your love (though considering the rising STI rates in these demographics, it’s clear that older people who date very sweet — just remember to use protection!).

Eharmony data (compiled from a survey of 3,016 US singles as of Feb. 2026) shows that singles in this age bracket are not settling. Instead, they enter the “possible chapter” with nothing holding them back, according to 23 percent of respondents. In fact, more than half (56 percent) say turning 40 has finally given them more time to focus on themselves, and 21 percent see it as an opportunity to completely reinvent themselves. I love this period of renaissance – like divorce giving women a way to be themselves again – but that’s a topic for another time.

Here’s exactly why dating after 40 isn’t the scary story everyone makes it out to be.

The majority people in their 40s can communicate.

I won’t pretend that there aren’t emotionally immature people in their 40s (please see one of my favorite tweets of all time), but eharmony’s data suggests that at this point, daters are emotionally ready for something more.

Sixty percent of couples between the ages of 40 and 49 say they are emotionally ready for a new long-term relationship. And they know their mistakes: 44 percent of that same age group (and 46 percent of 60- to 69-year-olds) say the biggest lesson they took from a past relationship is the importance of communication.

Dates in this age group are also very honest about what they want, even if it doesn’t fit the traditional mold. While 15 percent of 40-somethings want friendship without labels, that number jumps to 21 percent when you reach 60- to 69-year-olds.

Sex is just better.

Almost half (48 percent) of 40-somethings, and 61 percent of 50-somethings, say they feel more confident expressing what they want in bed now than ever before. And, I think the best part of those statistics is that most people who are dating say they want to connect emotionally before things get physical — specifically, 37 percent of people in their 40s and 53 percent of people in their 60s.

In addition, 36 percent of the 40-49 crowd said they enjoy sex more because they don’t care what their partners think about their bodies. What a relief that must be! I’m not saying we all need to fill in for Danny from HBO Neighbors and start walking around a Florida nudist resort in a yellow thong (if you’ve never seen one, I recommend doing so soon), but I’ll take that level of overconfidence over being 22 and insecure any day.

Peace and prosperity # goals.

By the time you reach your 40s and 50s, you’ve probably spent years building a life, a career, and maybe even a family, so you’re less likely to let someone come in and tear you down. According to the report, this number of people who are dating are rewriting the rules to protect their sanity. In fact, about 32 percent of people aged 40 to 49 would consider keeping families completely separate even in long-term relationships to reduce mixed stress and maintain their habits.

Messy finances are also a big problem. Among singles in their 60s, careless spending (55 percent), living beyond their means (57 percent), and excessive debt (57 percent) are all reasons to end a relationship quickly.

They are not waiting for a good meeting.

While meet-cute is a #dream, 40-somethings have realized that if you’re not on apps, you’re basically guaranteed to be dry; 31 percent of singles who refuse to use them have been single for more than ten years. (I know those numbers hurt a bit.)

Currently, 36 percent of single people in their 40s are married, and that number drops to 20 percent of married people in their fifties. Nineteen percent of 40-somethings, meanwhile, are actively swiping to find a relationship. So even though they know the ropes, they may take a break. It might not be as romantic as a rom-com, but at least the people you meet know how to communicate (which is part of the battle, right?).