A woman who lived as a man for 6 years says God told her to change

A woman who lived as a man for six years said she returned to her “self” after what she described as a powerful encounter with God.

In an the story published Friday in Christianity Today, Kyla Gillespie wrote that she has struggled with gender dysphoria since childhood.

“I remember, when I was 3 or 4 years old, being abused by an elderly family member,” Gillespie wrote. “With my mother’s quick response, it never happened again. But my difficulties did not end. I started to be confused about my gender.”

He remembered another moment when he started elementary school.

“I used to live by the ice rink where my hockey team practiced,” said Gillespie. “I was no more than 5 years old. My parents had just been informed that I would no longer be allowed to change in the boys’ locker room. Since I was the only girl in the group, I would have to change in the girls’ washroom. My little mind couldn’t accept it.”

Gillespie said his confusion grew after both his parents divorced, which led to him splitting time between homes. She explained that she felt rejected by her stepmother.

“When I was 16 or 17, it became clear that I was no longer welcome in my father’s home with his new wife and children,” Gillespie wrote. “My adoptive mother didn’t want me to be part of their close-knit group, and I began to shake my carefree home. I happily shared a room with my adoptive sister, but from one weekend to another my belongings began to disappear.”

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Kyla Gillespie underwent reassignment surgery at the age of 31, and finally transitioned. (Stock)

Gillespie wrote that he stumbled upon hockey, eventually joined a professional team, and later struggled with alcoholism, gambling and failed same-sex relationships. He said he eventually enrolled in a Christian recovery center to deal with his addiction.

“I came to my senses there, but my struggles with same-sex attraction and gender dysphoria continued,” Gillespie wrote. “To try to overcome the war raging inside me, I decided to transition from female to male. Two years later, after hormone therapy, surgery, and a major lifestyle change, I could finally pass unrecognized to the world as a man.”

Gillespie lived as “Brycen” for six years, but, according to his essay, his perspective began to change after meeting a couple at a church service, Jess and her husband, BJ. Gillespie wrote that months later, Jess offered her a place to stay if she chose to change, which she initially refused.

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Kyla Gillespie said meeting God and faith brought her back to her true self. (Stock)

“One night I was devastated in the dark, crying in bed,” Gillespie wrote. “I need to know the mind of God, I went out and crumpled to the ground, crying for relief, to be clarified. It is not a cry from the heart like I had done so many times before without being willing to change or surrender, but a deep cry of the soul from a place of abandonment—a cry for him to set me free.”

“After six years of living like Brycen, I cried, ‘What do you want from me?'” she continued. “There on the floor of my room, I heard God speak to my heart so clearly that I will never forget it: ‘Come back to me, Kyla.’

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Kyla Gillespie also wrote a book, “Changed,” about her gender confusion, transitioning from female to male at age 31, and transitioning. (Kurt “CyberGuy” Knutsson)

Gillespie is now the founder of Renewed & Transformed, a ministry focused on Christian teachings related to faith, sexuality and identity. He is also the author of “Changed,” a book about her gender confusion and female-to-male reassignment surgery at age 31, and her transition journey.

In the essay, Gillespie wrote that he eventually accepted Jess and BJ’s offer to stay with them during the transition. He said that although the struggle continues, “he will not look back.”

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